Intimacy vs. Sex

Intimacy is defined as the close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. As humans, we have an innate drive, stronger in some than in others, to find intimacy to share with another person. We try to discover that relationship where we do not have to hold back any part of ourselves and share the most that we can with another person. As I have said many times, sex is the most intimate moment that two people can share. However, I was mistaken, sex is only the most physically intimate you can get with another person. There are many other parts that make up our lives such as the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, and the social. With relationships, many people turn to sex when they have problems, or even without relationships, if someone is lonely, they may turn to sex as a means to quench their thirst for intimacy. Sex though is the most instant fix for this loneliness because it can happen within hours of meeting someone, as long as the urge is there. Sex can be an emotionless bond between two people; for some, they can really separate emotion from sex. True intimacy can only happen when emotion is poured into the situation. Sometimes I have felt more intimate with friends than I have felt with some people I have been in relationships with. So often is the cause that people believe physicality to be the way to obtain intimacy. However, intimacy grows out of honest emotions, vulnerability, and respect. It is a comfort level that you share with another person that does not exist within your other relationships. Though these two topics are very entwined, it is important to notice their differences.

Messina, James. "Handling Intimacy." 1999 http://www.coping.org/relations/intimacy.htm